Wednesday, August 1, 2012

The truth is

The truth is I have tunnel vision and it's hard to envision anything but my limited viewpoint and perspective right now. I guess that makes me a 28 yr old with a mind of a 5 yr old? OR a hormonal preggo lady. All I can see is myself and my sickness all the while knowing that this sickness has a purpose.

The dreaded bowl and the IV bruises. The crackers that I am just now able to keep down after 3 1/2weeks. After all, this is supposed to be a joyous time to celebrate as there is a miracle- a human being growing in my tummy for pete's sake. And here all I can think is that I would be more grateful and  more happy and more satisfied and more gracious IF IF IF. Whine whine whine. It's too easy just to see the symptoms- the COMPLICATIONS.

Ironically when we are suffering, those are the times when we get real. With ourselves, and if we are brave...with one another...and with our Heavenly Daddy. Because He can handle it.

We are forced to have a reality check. Forced to see the gunk in our hearts.  Because when I see the gunk in my heart...I see my need for Jesus. And that is actually a good place to be. And then I find I am not nor have to be miss tough or supermom or career ninja or sexy wifey or miss crafty. So there. I am just me and that is ok. I need my Savior and I need His grace...and perhaps another popsicle.


  1. :) wise words dear one!! you are so very precious and have many prayers going up for you and this little miracle you are carrying! Blessings: Cheryl Landis